May 2013
16 posts
5 tags
my teacher asked if i liked eating cuddle fish. i said no, they are my favorite animal. she said, favorite for eating? i said nonono favorite for favoriting. and she thought that was funny. and asked why. so i said marine biology. i’ve alwasy wanted to do it but it’s not very practical. she said here, work as a teacher, and work on a boat doing research about cephalopods. here, after...
3 tags
Gross
Guru: Why are you upset
Me: beacuse all the men yell at me out of their cars and I think it's rude.
Guru: They just think you are sexy with your white skin and your short pants
Me: I don't care if they think it's sexy. I'm walking to class not selling my body.
Guru: It is rude. Why don't you write about that for homework?
2 tags
We're Both Just Stating the Obvious
Little Boy: Bule!
Me: oh! anak kecil yang indonesia
Little Boy: I know!
Me: Then why are we talking?
Little Boy: ahahahahahahahahaha
7 tags
A Little Perspective: USA and Space
Now, I’m going to point a finger or two, with full knowledge that I used to be, and probably still am, one of these people. People who are so in love with the idea of maps, or the world, or what have you that they get it tattooed on their bodies. [[MORE]]
We all know I have a problem with white people who have always had everything they ever needed and they don’t appreciate that...
5 tags
so i scratched my face a little in my last class. my kids were horrified, but they are kids, so i let them out liek 2 minuets early, and we were done with eveythign anyway. i go downstairs and grab a paper towel for my bleeding chin, and Sydney sees me and freeks out. Like excuse me, there is no need to be so upset. He goes “Rach” (did i say you could call me nicknames?) “are...
6 tags
Rujak
Today I went with Mat and Alex to Surabaya for the Festival Rujak. We met up with Laily, and then were treated like royalty for the entirety of the festival. The festival was tables and tables of people making rujak to see who could make the best fare. We got pulled in for pictures with almost every group we came across. There was a group dressed up as dogs, a cross-dressing group, a group with...
14 tags
McDonald’s and Other Friday Night Observations
I was really hungry last evening after teaching 3 classes. It was strange, because I was stuffed off peanuts only 2 hours before I got off work, but alas, the body is needy and that is annoying in and of itself. There is no pizza here, or any I would eat, and the amount of junk food that is available is close to zero. So, though I refuse McDonald’s while I’m in the States, I had some last night...
3 tags
1 tag
greater-reality:
Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent water. And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes you cannot even breathe deeply, and the night sky is no home, and you have cried yourself to sleep enough times that you are down to your last two percent, but
nothing is infinite, not even loss.
You are made of the sea and the stars, and one day you are...
7 tags
Little Bat Friends
I told you guys I was getting a bat when I moved to Indonesia. I was not lying. Today the cutest bat came and hung out with us about midnight. He (she) was eating an unripe papaya, and he just hung out there licking the juice out of that green little sphere like it was the nectar of the gods. Mat opened a beer, and the little guy covered his ears with the tips of his wings and I about melted...
6 tags
Why Am I Not a Child?
I was walking home from work, and there was this thing. it was amazing. it looked like a boat on wheels. and it had christmas lights all around the outside. and the boat was full of children. and on the front. on the front there was a giant plastic pegasus. yes. i about hopped on that boat myself, even though it was not going home. saddly, i am an adult, and i restrained myself cus i really wanted...
4 tags
Observations about Non-American Boys
they are inordinately polite… they also use words like “inordinately”
today i made some cookies. when either the Brit or the Kiwi came out of their room I said “there’s cookies!” to me that means “please, have some cookies, i’ve made them you see, and i would like to be nice and share.” both of them (the yankee did not want cookies) then...
5 tags
got a really long email from my best Mr Smiles. here are some highlights about why he is on my favorites list:
“The world seems quieter with you on are the other side”
“I am going to watch another classic Japanese film tonight, as I am continuing my exploration of classic Japanese directors. I’ll have my essay of film criticism posted to you by midnight, so you can...
7 tags
Adventures with the Mandi
Our house is the only EF house whose shower is stuck on hot, all the other houses are cold only. Which is nice, i expected to be taking cold showers twice a day, and it’s the little things that count, right?
EXCEPT FOR TODAY. I woke up late, and bummed around and went running about 11.30. You say, “Silly Rabbit, why would you do that? That’s the hottest part of the day!”...
7 tags
Hari Kamis
i took a taksi all by myself today, and got to the right place and everything! the australian kid is gonna get kicked, for real, and i haven’t even been here a week. do not wistle at me as i get out of a cab on my way back from a very lovely meeting with the head recruitment office. especially when at that meeting i ate a fish that still had a head and a tail on it but i did not cry, or...
2 tags
the gay man at work talks about love like that’s all you need to make it work…that the government was confused in thinking that he could have possibly gotten married for any reason other than love.
April 2013
17 posts
Day of Orientation #2
most people in the office are weird as shit. all the indonesian teachers (who teach english) are fairly normal humans… but the native english speakers are all socially incompitatnt, or just suck at communicating. I know I’m not the most outgoing or charasmatic person in the world, but c’mon guys… i should not be the most competant person in the entirty of the office.
...
3 tags
whine session
[[MORE]]this morning is awful. i didn’t run, or go to the pasar like I was planning. i got into a real deep conversation last night involing rice wine, and how it’s okay to have feelings. and i’m trying to remind myself that even though Uragray passed equal marriage, and America still hasn’t, it’s okay to miss the stupid place. it probably...
5 tags
Day ½ and Whole
I arrived on the plane and met a fellow from the UK, and we went through security and immigration together, all because I noticed that he had EF paperwork too. He is working in Surabaya, and I in Sidoarjo, but we are flying back to Singapore on the same day, so I’m sure I’ll see him again. Immigration officials thought we were married… what? I literally just met this guy, guys.
I met my driver...
Singapore
I was homesick, and alone, and bored to tears till I decided to go out and wander, and may I say? “God damn.” Changi is pristinely groomed, and everything is green, and I daresay it is a cross between the USA and Indonesia. It’s got a little bit of Asian flair, but there are Starbucks, and McDonalds, and Irish pubs, and everyone knows English. The people… I mean, I was on the shopping strip,...
6 tags
i resind former sad and emo statements. indonesia is fucking awesome. my roommates are chill, though i only get them for like 2 weeks, then i get other roommates, and none of them are girls, which is the best part ever. i’m drinking bintang, which tastes like ice house, so i’m choking it down. perhaps i shall just not drink here either. lord knows everything else has changed....
6 tags
so it’s true that we are never really happy where we are… and by we i mean me.
always wanting what’s on the other side of the ocean. and i’m kicking myself because i had finally found some happiness. granted i was bored out of my skull with my jobs and the like, and i really could not have stayed in the midwest. but in those last few weeks i was home i really started...
4 tags
Singapore
is a strange mix between the usa and indonesia. it’s got that weird feeling, the i’m-not-home feeling, where eveything smells bad and the orginization of the city makes no sense. and i understand that singapore is not a city, so it can’t be orginized as a city, but i’m just chilling in this city for another two days. and already my stuff is scattered all over this hotel...
Exausted
packed up my iowa city house yesterday.[[MORE]] drive though the quads and convienced J to come back to wauk with me for a few hours. today, at the party, i had to say good bye to way too many people i love, and a few that i adore. people bought presents to me (how nice! how rude!)
i tried very hard not to cry to much. grandma jan started it all, and the grandma b, and my brother/cousin watched...
excellent news: it’s just the government and not me. i have my shit together. the processing time is going to take a bit longer than normal, but my job is going to pay for all the visa expenses.
also, i started a legs challange today… lifting that is.
and i feel pretty nice. good food, good family, good music, awesome weather; but i keep realizing how close my impending departure...
6 tags
i already hate this job. there is so much shit to process trying to go to other countries. it makes me really mad. and i’m not gonna finish processing my working visa when i’m in singapore the first time because of some delay in the government and they say i didn’t get them all the proper documents, but i swear i did. mother fucker. so now i have to run about, and pay the...
8 tags
who knew that $11.50, 2 little pony tails, and a little bit of courage would get a person so far?
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I am in a Rage! Over Sherlock
i knew this was going to happen, or everyone said it would happen. but i didn’t know it was so many puzzles. and i want ANSWERS. smiles says you pick up on a lot more clues the second time around, especially that last episode. i will have to watch it again, somehow, before i leave. i will not buy netflix, i refuse. but i really need to know. we all knew he wasn’t going to (spoiler...
6 tags
Depressing and Cliche
[[MORE]]i miss you much more than i ever thought possible. and not for the obvious reasons that everyone assumes like sex, and cuddles, and self worth; which is just what i assumed every stupid relationship was before this point, and i couldn’t really grasp why people got so upset over that kind of thing. but D said she and R were planning secret plans, to bring you to me at the airport, and...
6 tags
Time with Mister
cus he calls me “lady” and i call him “mister.” and it’s not weird at all, or even very creepy. we just laugh a lot, and make sex jokes, and play around with words, and people watch. and when we walk downtown, to places that are not very crowded at all, so i notice when people stare, and he doesn’t but i point it out, he says “we’re a strange couple...
6 tags
“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone...”
– ― Robert Fulghum, True Love
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knees are pretty ugly
but that’s the whole point, right? they are what you scrape first, because they catch you when you fall down. and sometimes, when you get older, they ache down deep in the bones, but that just means that they’ve been used, and maybe too much: for games, tournaments, hard work. no one walks around judging people are how pretty their knee caps are, but people do compare scars. they are...
10 tags
sadly, we have come to the conclusion that 100% of parents hate when their female-bodied children look and act like boys. Even if these children have been gender queer for many moons.
but if your baby brother calls you a boy, it’s okay to throw him on the sand and give him a good wailing, because if you’re gonna be a boy and wear plaid and a baseball cap you better well be a proper...
March 2013
9 posts
8 tags
I’ve re-evaluated the meaning of dark and light, as not always good and evil, and I like myself better afterward; I am both dark and light, and neither is good or bad, they just kind of are.
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there are points of clarity in your life when you come to realize what things are worth it and what things are not. you figure out what fights are worth fighting and what fights will do nothing for you, and probably do nothing for your blood lust either. there are some things that are worth the tears, but those same things are worth the exultations, and the sweat too. but it takes time,...
7 tags
Urban Dictionary has Me Pegged
2.sprung
Sprung is when you’ve gone two months without seeing her face, yet her smile still lingers in your dreams. It’s when you can’t get her off your mind, no matter the time or distance apart. It’s when everyday that goes by without her is a bad day. It’s when you can’t help but be a hopeless romantic, waiting for the day she comes around and picks you....
6 tags
when every song on the radio is about them or about you missing them, hot damn, then you know
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apparently we are both attractive
but i don’t really care what other people see in us
because when you are with me i feel at home
and who really cares about anything when you are at home?
when you are at home you can eat cookies and walk around without pants
and this started out cute, but now…
now i’ll just brush my teeth and go to sleep.
5 tags
so i had a tiquila drink… so that might have something to do with the fact that i am not sleepy.
but i also decided to take my first choice job offer in indonesia.
and i can’t breathe
everyone in my house is asleep, and my parents are deff asleep, and it’s really far to late to be calling ppl freaking out about how all of a sudden my life is working again and people want me...
5 tags
Despite how messed up our country seems to be, with the stock market crash, communism looking like a better option, our fall from superpower-dom, continuous racism sexism and ableism, no fourth amendment within a hundred miles of any border, and all of anything else you can think of, leave it to the country singers to talk about how great the USofA is. I must commend them for their optimism, but...
1 tag
because i’m a bottle of wine in
because i have purple hair
because my second interview is tomorrow
because i wish i could have read that book to you in person, but i’m glad i called, because it was better than nothing
because i ate vegan soup & choco-pb banana bread tonight
because i am taking baby steps at getting back to being better
because i am nervous and scared and...
5 tags
i had a real scary dream last night that i had a real mean friend that put a black widow spider the size of a tarantula in my mouth and wouldn’t take it out even when the spider starting puking on my tongue.
February 2013
12 posts
5 tags
If you abuse love I will lose all respect for you as a human. If you say it before you mean it, or use another’s love for you as a weapon to get you your selfish wants I will save a spot for you in hell next to all my ex’s.
8 tags
i was talking to a freind about how winter goes. she said, very nonchalantly, “I sleep much more in the winter.” it was her attitude about the sleep, that it wasn’t a big deal, just a side effect of the weather, that made me think that maybe i’m not as fucked up in the head as i tend to think i am. maybe if i didn’t see sleep as a side effect of depression—a...
2 tags
it was not all of a sudden that i loved you,
the way they say it goes it story books,
but it was all of a sudden when i let myself believe it;
when i listened to the butterflies in my stomach,
the tiny pricks in all my finger tips,
and the heavy footfalls in my chest.
6 tags
daesha just compared my writing to the writing of the quick quotes quill. i’m actually kinda offended. “my eyes are not glistening with the ghosts of my past.” all i’m saying, i hope i actually write longer than that.
12 tags
Angry High School Memories: Band vs Orchestra
To: All the Kids of Band who made me feel like a second class citizen for sticking with the “hoodlums” of Orchestra
From: Me. But I know now, I am a better person, and a better musician and I will now tell you why (I understand this is childish, please forgo all messages of that genre)
So I understand you love band, and you really made it a point to let me know that you love it....
8 tags
I had a creative moment the other day, while I was trying to drag myself out of a certain depression (cliché much?), and as a result I have the newest piece to “A Few Queer Sketches.” This is very exciting, I haven’t had an addition to this collection since Winter of Senior year, so… like a year ago. Excuses are numerous, one being I was too busy being out and gay for...
4 tags
“So you went to a cursed cemetery with this chick even though it almost scared...”
– Taylor, Relationship Guru (via taylosaurus)
6 tags
I am so done with Winter
holy shit its colder than a popsicle in my room. but i guess the good news is i was startled awake half an hour early today by the sun so i guess that means spring is coming. which, in and of itself is good, but it also would be nice to want to do things other than sleep all day
